Monster

Of late I have been introspectively thinking what failure and success mean to me. Having enjoyed *some* degree of positive outcomes in my career as a creative, the unsettling emotion of failing at a task seems a distant memory. Until I decide to surmount a project with an open brief, which means I am free to do anything I want. Which also means I’d bite a lot more than I could possibly chew. Like in this case where, halfway thru the process, I suddenly became wide awake at 1am srsly doubting the direction steered by this mammoth. Or I should just have the mental courage to quickly exit the highway (that’s leading me nowhere) and recalculate my route. Calmly, I surrendered to the fact that I should stop and redo — something that I am never shy to tell others but always too obstinate to relent when it comes to art of my own.

Sleepy and wide awake at the same time I came to terms with the fact that this was a failed endeavour, having failed in planning of getting the monster out of my gate, not to mention into the lift. I also came to terms that it is okay to acknowledge failure cos there are great things to be learnt and discover out of it. And have the balls to abort regardless of what I imagine others might say in an “actually you shoudve blah blah” scenario which is totally inconsequential to righting the wrong.

Now as I type this there is an overwhelming sense of peace and relief that I got out before it continues the downward spiral. And that there will be a brand new piece unveiling next at Thu’s show opening.